Every year we’re a bit mystified that bad albums can get made. However as long as someone will finance these mistakes and the label system keeps signing acts at a record pace, they’ll exist. Some of these are our favorite artists, but this list proves that even the good ones can stumble every now and again.
Screamer by Third Eye Blind
While this wasn’t the worst album we heard all year, it certainly wasn’t the best. We were excited for the rebirth from the band who has become popular again. What we got was an album overproduced to the point of shimmering blindness and songs with lyrics that guys in their fifties shouldn’t be singing. The gratuitous use of foul language might have been edgy twenty years ago, but it just sounds desperate here. The worst song is easily “Walk Like Kings.”
In the Spirit World Now by Ceremony
We weren’t upset that this album was another change in direction, because this band has always done that. However this foray into darkwave comes off as hacky. The songs are poorly written and it feels rushed. Aside from the obvious lifts that come throughout, the album has some high points, but they come on two songs and in all the prose. This band can do better and we wished they had. This album feels like a bad copy of a Devo song that was heard from 1200 feet away. The worst song is “Never Gonna Die Now.”
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind by Logic
With all of the hard work that came with pretty much every Logic release before this, we were shocked at how unimpressive this album was. The lyrics are more funny than well written, the beats feel cheesy and there’s very little to get hyped about. Side note, rhyming about flow has to get backed up with an actual intriguing flow. This album doesn’t contain any. The worst track comes on “Pardon My Ego.”
The Center Won’t Hold by Sleater-Kinney
When you’re a longtime fan of a band, at some point they won’t release their best album. That seems to be what this is from Sleater-Kinney. Aside from everyone blaming St. Vincent who produced the album, we found the songs to come off more poorly written than the change in direction. While we caught the band live and a lot of the songs felt better, there’s very little to look forward to on this release. The worst song is easily “The Future is Here.”
Weezer (Black Album) by Weezer
Twenty years ago, it felt charming in how Rivers Cuomo would drop hip hop rhymes into Weezer songs. Nowadays it just feels old hat and uninspired. We don’t know where to begin with this record as it’s pretty cringe worthy. Even music intended for children isn’t this bad. Contrary to Cuomo thinking we “Can’t Knock The Hustle,” we beg to differ. If this album is hustling then we must have a different idea of what that means. Seriously, bands that don’t make hip hop records shouldn’t rap. “Can’t Knock The Hustle” and “I’m Just Being Honest” are the worst songs, but you’ll be hard pressed to find a good one.
Can’t Say I Ain’t Country by Florida Georgia Line
For starters, pop country sucks and this band has pretty much always been shit. However when you tempt us with a title like this, we’ll gladly step up and state that we beg to differ. You aren’t country, you aren’t close and we would guess that the only time you’ve been to a honky tonk was for a photo session. Start a boy band and stop killing an American genre, please. All the songs here are horrible, the worst two being “Can’t Say I Ain’t Country” and “Women.” Also, the skits are really dumb as well.
NINE by Blink 182
For starters, we know that Blink 182 is considered a pop punk band, so the fact that this album is poppy isn’t the disappointment. We also don’t care that there’s a different singer, cause that happens. No, it’s that the album feels like it’s ready for a bundle exclusively sold at Hot Topic. It’s so bubblegum that it should’ve been free with a purchase of Hubba Bubba. There’s no punk here, you’re just left with sugary crap that a major label rep probably got a bonus for. The worst songs are “Happy Days” and “Blame It On My Youth,” the latter that’s literally a dream pop song. Ugh, just retire or tour your hits.
Scary Nights by G-Eazy
Well, for starters this album is just a mix of gross and weak. Gross because it’s always charming for a white rapper to use the b word to describe a woman. Weak because G-Eazy has it pretty well. It seems like a “scary night” is when his butler has the night off. This is pop music set to a hip hop beat, it’s littered with terrible rhymes and the best part is when the rapper tries to humanize himself. The worst songs are “K I D S” and “Hittin Licks.”
Who Do You Trust? by Papa Roach
Well, we actually forgot these guys were a band until we heard they had a new album out. If you liked their watered down “we’re tough” guise when they were part of the tide of rap rock bands almost twenty years ago, then you’ll be happy to know that they haven’t changed. Though while that may have been cool to a few back then, it’s pretty cheesy now. All of the songs are bad, the worst two being “Renegade Music” and “Top of the World.” The latter, those “we’re taller than giants” lyrics are just hilarious. Wait, is this a comedy album?
Legendary by Tyga
Hey, guess who’s back on our worst list. We were curious if Tyga could make a worse album than Kyoto and guess what, he can. Instead of digging into the album too deep, the fact that is “legendary” is that someone released this turd of an album. Tyga still raps about being a “big dog,” but we just assume he’s referring to the times he was all over TMZ. The worst tracks are “Lightskin Lil Wayne,” and “Shit I Like.”
Warp and Woof by Guided By Voices
This hurts because we’ve been fans of GBV for a long time. Though with three records released this year alone, this one could have just not come out. None of the songs are memorable and we’re convinced that it’s time for someone to tell Robert Pollard that he doesn’t have to record and release everything he writes. The songs that you think you’ll like you get disappointed by and the songs that start poorly don’t really go anywhere. The worst songs are “Angelic Weirdness,” “Foreign Deputies” and “It Will Never Be Simple.”
California Son by Morrissey
Imagine how excited the label was when they heard Moz was going to make a covers album. Of course, if they were pleased then they weren’t aware that the songs would primarily be obscure songs by artists that he’s a big fan of. Well, the truth is that the album is just boring. Who cares about what a Morrissey version of a Dionne Warwick song sounds like? Stay a fan of The Smiths, relish in the albums like You Are The Quarry and Ringleader of the Tormentors and forget future Morrissey because that doesn’t exist. The worst songs are “Days of Decision” and “When You Close Your Eyes.”
93PUNX by 93PUNX
Oh Vic Mensa…what the hell is this? I guess we could say that the production is on point, but it really isn’t. Geez, this sounds like an album that you get when you’re attending a Christian Conference on youth. The lyrics are cringe heavy. “Now you’re mumble rapping cause’ there’s a dick in your mouth,” okay? There’s a song called “definition of a fuck-boi,” and this album is pretty much that definition. Don’t look for a good song, because there isn’t one.
Harverd Dropout by Lil Pump
What essentially makes this album so bad is that the whole thing sounds so phoned in. It’s almost as if Pump didn’t care about the music enough to facilitate any emotion other than boredom. Lil Pump has always reveled in people trolling him, his thing is his humor, but here the joke isn’t funny anymore. In a world where Soundcloud rappers get shit on consistently, this album gives plenty of fuel to the fire. “Nuh Uh,” “Racks on Racks” and “Butterfly Doors” are the worst songs on a release full of bad songs.
Rise by Hollywood Vampires
We like and respect Alice Cooper, so it was hard to say we hated this album. None of it is redeemable, and not just because Johnny Depp is in the band. In fact, Depp may think this album is great but Cooper and Joe Perry should know better. There’s no reason to pick a bad song, or the worst because they’re all bad. We will state that “I Want My Now,” in that we want the time it took to listen to this terrible record back. But speaking of that song, why does it run so long? There’s this long ending that makes a bad song worse, and that’s how the whole album is.
That’s it, the worst records of 2019. If you disagree with this list, then stream these albums for yourself or purchase them from the artists or their respective labels.
Image Credits: Photo Courtesy of Pexels.